As Children of Hoarders, many of us don’t think of routines as boring. We think of them as comforting and something we didn’t have.
Routines are supposed to be the bane of an exciting existence. They’re supposed to be the boring and mind-numbing portion of adulthood. The snap decision to go to a concert, on a road trip, or even to a party, is the hallmark of young adulthood. With a family comes routine and responsibilities (or, it’s supposed to as Children of Hoarders know all too well…). I have come to the conclusion, that certainly with a family, routine can actually open up great peace and possibilities. That’s because you can’t do anything fun with an overtired or hungry screaming child! When my daughter started pre-school last week, I surrendered to this reality.
In this case, I’m consciously creating a routine. Again, this is contrary to the usual thinking that routines are something to be avoided. For children however, routines create comfort and security. They need to know what is happening next and that they will be taken care of.
MANY OF CHILDREN OF HOARDERS DID NOT HAVE THIS EXPERIENCE…
For tips…check out Grace’s article:
http://gracebrooke.com/2011/08/clever-and-unique-back-to-school-organizing-tips-for-kids/
I often don’t notice I’m in a routine until it’s ending, like moving to a new apartment, job or town. But with kids, routines need to be made purposefully. I am so proud of myself right now. We’re creating different specific spaces for her items, her lunch and backpack are ready to go the night before. Her clothes are picked out. I know what time she needs to get up, have eaten breakfast, gotten dressed, etc… Drop off is at 8:45-9. 9 is official school starting time. We leave at 8:30 so that if we have a 5 or 10 minute delay, we’re still there at 8:45 or 8:50.
When she comes home she has x time to play, x time to eat, x time for bath and stories and then it is sleep time. This is something I have been notoriously terrible at in the past. I now see the importance and I’ve used my resources to get it together. I feel like such a good mom!
Tell us what has made you proud as a parent? Something you’re doing that feels very different than what your hoarding parent did?
Thanks,
Natasha
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
I am not a parent, but I can say that your post is how I hope to raise my children.
I am the granddaughter and daughter of hoarders, and as you probably know, it wasn’t always easy.
I’ve begun the process toward change by taking responsibility of my own hoarding problem. In my research, I see the routine you’ve mentioned is paramount to my success.
One thing I feel I’m doing that was different from my grandmother and father is acceptance. I accept my hoarding tendencies, and I also accept how unnecessary and detrimental it is to my life.
Admitting there is a problem is something I feel my dad will never do, and although he is content with his surroundings, I’m not. I don’t want to be a burden to my children, and your post gives me hope!
Hope to throw away all my hoarded items by the week’s end, maybe not!
But seriously, thank you for the optimism!